A time for Change

1/26/16

Putting more effort into my workouts.

Good evening everyone! It has been forever since my last blog and I am okay with that but not at the same time. I really love putting my thoughts and workouts here and then I can take the time to look back on all I have done and accomplished in the EIGHT months I have been in the Mountain Mama class. Yes, you did read that correctly!! EIGHT months have come and gone and I am so happy with my dedication. 

As you might have noticed, I have restarted my days with this post. That is for a good reason, my goals have changed! I now have a clear goal and focus on what I want to happen to my body and this blog is a big venting post about what has been going on in my life and a little about my workout today.

Venting about my bad days: 

I have been having some really bad past few weeks and having to force myself to stick with it. Between money scares and my depression slowly creeping back, I have just been wanting to quit it all. I can't stand to look in the mirror or have pictures taken of me. I feel disgusting and fat. I feel like I have to be a certain way and look a certain way in order to love myself but damn it all, that is not true at all! 

I have been taking a few days to mope and be in a bad mood but I need to kick that to the curb. I am now really wanting to step it up. My original goal for this class was to just go with the flow, become more active and meet new mom's in the area. This was great and it worked well for me....until a few weeks ago when I had family pictures done and I can't even stand looking at them. I am bulging in places I don't want to be and I just hate my outfit choice. Not the fault of the photographer, that is all me. But it did make me realize that if I want to really make a difference then I need take control and make that change. 

Making a positive change:

I have been putting more effort into class, these past two meets and I realized how lazy and compliant I have become. I was so depressed when I realized how out of it I had let myself go!! I really pushed it today and I ended up feeling awful when I came home. Headache. pissy mood and just more hateful towards my body. I made sure to take a nap, eat healthy items, and drink a TON of water. I feel better now but I am hoping tomorrow will not be so hard on my body.

Now about that class today:

I had fun, even while sweating and dying, lol, but man, I just can't get into the relay style workouts. I feel better doing stations and having a certain goal number or a time. I can make sure to not worry about letting a partner down or competing with anyone but myself. I also find myself rushing just to get the workout done, with a higher chance of not wanting to do it again once I am finished. Other than that, class was full of plenty of things that made me sweat and feel all out of shape, lol

Plans for the future:

So on with my new goal plan! I am tired of my stomach being so large and flabby. I am so ready for it to just shrink away so I am going to be saving up to attend a gym on top of going to Mountain class. No, I will NOT be working out for 2 hours every day, that would just burn me out too fast but I am good with putting 3-4 days in at the gym. This way I can concentrate on getting different exposures with gym equipment and start lifting weights for building some muscle mass to help motivate an actual weight loss vs just getting moving, as I was originally doing. 

To wrap it all up:

So overall, my new goals are to apply myself more into class and start up at the local gym. I will actually make an effort to start loosing weight in my stomach and work on gaining a much more positive body attitude. I will face that mirror one day and actually LIKE what I see. 

Thank you all for taking the time to read my really long and emotional blog today, I guess I really needed to just vent some stuff out because I feel so much better now. I will keep you all updated on my progress and hopefully I will see some awesome changes!!